why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
