I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
