the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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