Ambien. No doubt about it.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
