Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
