I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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