I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
