"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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