She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
