paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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