let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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