how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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