You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
