Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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