But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
