would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
