I'm really into asian looking animals
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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