Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
