Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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