break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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