Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
