i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
True strength comes from lack of pants
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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