O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
