I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have fence marks all over my body
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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