Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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