I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
