i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
