he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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