She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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