she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
