I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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