Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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