Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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