i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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