Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
