We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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