i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
