My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
