we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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