What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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