So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
