Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
