I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
