I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
