He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
