He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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