i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
