okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
