i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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