I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The power of my boobs compel you
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
