Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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