I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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