hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
